I hope I didn't sound whiny/whingy on that "core team" thing (child not here to help with that). There have been a few times when you referred to some sort of decision-making apparatus separate from "the team". Is it not a problem that I cannot even guess who the initial "3-4 of us total" were/are? (Or maybe I'm just clueless?)
Not to quote my own stuff
again but I published a
paper specifically on work teams and boundaries between them and advice to open source projects on this, which would be relevant (I know TL;DR). Let me see if I can helpfully outline it in a few sentences.
There are three types of interaction between people. (BTW this comes from the work of the sociologist Harrison White)
1. Selection: making choices. Like shopping. Like Amazon.
2. Mobilization: building coalitions. Like politics. Like any political discussion site.
3. Commitment: building things together. Like the core team of an open source project.
All open source projects have to deal with all three interactions, but among different people.
1. Selection happens when users come to find out about the product and decide whether to choose to use it.
2. Mobilization happens when people might want to join the team, and have suggestions, but haven't actually joined.
3. Commitment is what really gets built by people who devote their time and attention to the group.
Each of these interaction types needs different things to make it work.
1. Selection requires lots of simple clear information, like FAQS, a wiki, and fast clear answers to questions.
2. Mobilization needs ways to attract people to the cause (promotion), ways to have one's say (voting), ways to collect lots of crowdsourcing wisdom from people who don't want to commit but have little bits of useful opinions to give (polling, suggestions).
3. Commitment needs negotiation, handoff, decision support, trust, reputation, recognition, a quiet private space to work unobstructed.
For the boundaries between each other things are needed.
1. If moving from selection to mobilization, people need to learn enough to find out where they can add their ideas usefully. They need to jump the hurdle of not filling up the regular discussions but find the right places to have their say.
2. For moving from mobilization to commitment, people need to do the homework to fit into the team productively. They have to learn the coding conventions, get the source control system to work, learn the forum etiquette, learn the core team and what they do, etc. There is generally a much higher barrier here, and there has to be, or the core team will not get anything done.
3. Moving from selection to commitment ... does not happen. It cannot and should not.
Lots more on this in the paper but hopefully that summary is helpful?
Second post coming on other points in your thing.